Okay.

My parents brought me to the doctor this morning.

They were checking for depression.

They didn't know that waking me in the middle of my sleep (9:30 am, i was still sleeping), fighting with each other on the 1 hour drive, and that stupid hospital made me even more depressed. I didn't tell them that.

The shirnk didn't tell me anything new. She didn't tell me anything that i didn't know already. The only difference was that she talked to my parents, and she perscribed me pills.

At first i thought that it was valiums, but then it turned out that it wasn't. I don't know what it is, but it really really makes you drowsy. I took one just now. The doctor told me to take one pill before i go to sleep everyday, and that we'd see each other next saturday.

And then she told me, in a non-threatening voice, that if i didn't start eating again, and that if i'd try to hurt myself again, she'd have to "confine" me. It's good that she wanted to look concerned and that she used the word "confined" instead of "admit" or "rehabilitate".

I don't know what's happening to me. All i know is that right now, i'm really really drowsy and calm. Damn those pills really work.

I'll write again when i'm not drugged. It's a little hard to type when all you want to do is sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EDIT:

I just thought of something.

Maybe the pills really are just sleeping pills. The doctor said that if i still can't sleep at night, i'll tell my parents that the pills aren't working, and they'd give me something that she gave to them. Stronger sleeping pills, maybe. Or valiums or other sedatives.

But if that pill that i took was just a sleeping pill, why did the box of those pills have this tagline, "because depression hurts" or something like that (i forgot the name of the drug and other details on the box)?

You know what? i really want to get confined or admitted or whatever. All i have to do is say that i don't want to eat and just slash my left wrist again. Once. And then my parents would freak out, and then voila, instant vacation.